Are you suffering from Assistant Girlfriend Syndrome (AGS) ?

Recently I picked up my phone to see several missed calls from a lady in the youth department of our church. She was distressed and weeping because she had seen a male friend`s girlfriend kiss him. Days prior to that she had been working her fingers to the bone trying to help this guy because He had fallen sick and his girlfriend wasnt around to help.

This lady has been involved in what I call the Assistant Girlfriend Syndrome (AGS) for over 2 years. AGS is when a lady willingly plays the role of intimate lover or girlfriend whenever the regular or substantive girlfriend is unavailable. Like a reserve or substitute player an assistant girlfriend becomes unuseful when the substantive partner comes back. For this lady this cycle had continued over and over again for the past 2 years with this same guy and despite several intervention from me , she still would wind back into this same cycle.

 
We are just friends !
In most AGS cases I have seen , both the regular girlfriend and the assistant girlfriend are both friends and they all know each other. Thus deception creeps into the mind of the assistant girlfriend because she convinces her self that after ALL WE ARE ALL JUST FRIENDS ! 

In most cases the assistant girlfriend cannot enter into any relationship or is not commited to her relationship because SHE has hopes of becoming the regular girlfriend oneday when the regular partner is "ditched" .

Many young women and even men find themselves in these funny situations and get stuck in this cycle. Often times the motivation is an obsession based on emotions and a false hope that someday the regular partner will go and the guy will pick her when that happens.

You could be an assistant girlfriend without knowing !

• Do you have this male friend who only calls you and comes around when he is having an issue with his regular girlfriend ? 

• Are you doing things like cooking , jogging , going to the mall , long chats on whatsapp etc with him ONLY when the regular girl is not around ?

• Does he only make you do certain things a girlfriend should do ONLY when the  regular girl is not around ?

• Basically do you only become useful to this guy when His regular partner is not around ? Then you are an assistant girlfriend !

GET UP and start valueing yourself 
 Sweet sister my little word of advice to you is to GET UP and start valueing yourself . You might never become the regular girllfreind or worst of all you could be sitting on that fence for the REST of your life. You can be someone number 1 . If He loves you that much HE SHOULD END IT WITH THE OTHER ONE AND COME TO YOU. However becareful if you choose that option IF YOU BECOME THE REASON WHY A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP BREAKS you have thrown the wrong ball at the WALL AND IT WILL BOUNCE BACK.

My advice to you my sweet sister reading is BREAK IT AND MOVE ON , FIND YOURSELF YOUR PRINCE WHO CAN MAKE YOU HIS ONLY PRINCESS.
God bless you ! 😊